I can't help it - I'm a serial learner. Before starting Nested Mama, I was an academic, and I thrived devouring books and articles. I loved the work of teaching at the university level because I was constantly learning from my students as well as uncovering new depths in the subjects I taught.
Becoming a doula and educator in sleep, childbirth, and breastfeeding hasn't changed my insatiable desire to learn. If anything, the one-on-one support of parents as they navigate one of the most beautiful and challenging transitions of their lives heightens the need to bring more knowledge and skill to the table. While welcoming a new bundle into the home can be a time of joy, it can also be a time of remembrance where old hurts or the empty arms of loss come alongside those waves of joy. Statistical estimates of miscarriage suggest that 1 in 4 women will experience a loss. 1 in 4. And, this number doesn't include stillbirth or those who lose a little one in the days or weeks after birth. That means if you have not experienced a loss yourself, you won't have to look far for a family member or a friend who has or will experience loss in pregnancy or shortly thereafter. And, because our culture offers little space to speak about and process and remember these losses, you may not even be aware the full extent of the losses experienced by those you hold dear. That also means when we support families, we need to do better. I need to do better, too. This winter and spring I'll be working my way through a Pregnancy and Infant Loss Advocate (P.A.I.L) Training. Once complete, this will count toward certification as a Loss and Bereavement Doula. On this topic, I know I have so very much to learn, and as I do, I hope to share a bit from time to time in this space. Because we can all do better.
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It's December - hurrah! I'm dreaming of that crunch of snow, the smell of fir trees, and warm hot cocoa over on the Doulas of Iowa City blog where I share tips for baby's first holiday season.
While it can be tempting to hibernate all winter long, getting outside - even for 20 minutes a day - can be crucial for maintaining our circadian rhythm. So layer up, and get out! A few tips for winter adventures: When the weather is truly cold, I like to pick locations that offer dual outdoor/indoor fun. We start outdoors and last as long as we can, knowing the fun can continue inside. All four of the winter adventures listed below have that indoor/outdoor option! If you have children who are reluctant to layer (ahem, my children, cough cough), ask them to pack a backpack to take on the adventure with necessary layers. This way they have what they need if they need it, and they can listen to their bodies and make changes. Keep a wind chill chart bookmarked on your phone and consult the forecast before you go. (This can also give you a sense of whether or not layers are negotiable for outdoor play.) Invest in winter gear. If you have the layers you need to stay warm, you will enjoy the time outside so much more. If you or your child needs extra motivation, a thermos of hot coffee/tea/chocolate can go a long way in helping you meet your outside time goals. If you haven't been before, ICNC boasts a trail network that traipses through prairie, woods, and wetland. Beautiful in warmer temps, the trails offer lots to explore in colder weather, too. The outdoor classroom is a favorite of mine when I want to get us playing in chillier temps. Inside the ICNC the lobby includes several stations to explore nature as well as a bird watching room, perfect for warming fingers and toes after outside play. The fun at Wickiup Wandering Woods, just a short walk from the parking, continues even in snowy weather. With lots to climb, build, and explore, we like to burn off some steam before heading in to play in the kid-friendly exhibits. If you park at the Conservation Education Center, you'll find a half-mile, crushed stone, stroller-friendly trail. The perfect length for little legs on a chilly day, this hike allows you to bundle them in stroller if the weather proves a little too fierce. Pop inside the CEC after the hike and enjoy the museum area, complete with hands on exploration. Winter Night Hike in Your Neighborhood While I often bemoan how early it gets dark in the winter, I find it presents a unique opportunity to get us all out and moving. With the proper layers, a headlamp or flash light, and some hot cocoa at the end, my crew enjoys a night hike around our neighborhood to see lights on display. This is the perfect way to fit in some outdoor time after work and dinner, too! What are your favorite outdoor winter adventures in the Corridor? Share in the comments below!
Car trips with little ones can pose challenges, especially when it comes to keeping spirits up as you make your way from point a to point b. From the time our kiddos were around 6 weeks old, we've taken them here, there, and everywhere by car. Finding music that we all enjoy together has made such a difference. Here are some of our favorite albums to make car trips fun. Why we love it: Charlie Hope includes original songs as well as familiar ones (like Mr. Sun) with pleasing harmonies. I like her laid back sound. The kids love her playful lyrics and rhymes. Why we love it: We grabbed this CD on a whim at the library, and it became an instant favorite - playing non-stop for our 10-hour drive! The songs are from the TV show (which is based on the books in the Charlie and Lola series) - none of which we knew when we grabbed the CD. The songs are quirky and get my kids laughing and singing. I often think of this one as our "worst-case scenario" option to bring a little levity when the trip feels too long. Why we love it: We find it hard to be grumpy in the car when we turn on the catchy beat and lyrics of SteveSongs. As my kids have grown, they enjoy the information behind the lyrics - such as the scientific explanation at work in "Water Cycle" or the humor behind "Fast Monkey." Why we love it: The jazzy rhythm of this CD gets lots of mileage in our car. Songs like "Happy!" and "I'm a Bubble" have turned some frowns upside down on long car rides. The pleasing quality of Jennifer Gasoi's voice and instrumentation make this one I reach for often. When taking road trips to visit family and friends, we are often traveling during and after bedtime. The jazzy music that kept everyone engaged and happy earlier in the trip often proves too much stimulation for later in the evening. We often reach for this CD (as well as Lullaby Renditions of Journey and Lullaby Renditions of Queen). If classic rock standards aren't your vibe, Rockabye Baby! makes a whole host of other popular options sure to meet your lullaby needs. Do you listen to music in the with your little ones car? What is your favorite kid-friendly CD? Leave it in the comments below!
Fall is in the air, but outdoor fun with baby or toddler doesn't have to stop just because the temperature drops. In fact, without the bugs and sun of summer, you may find you get more mileage out of your adventures in the colder weather. Here are some of our favorite resources for planning cold temperature adventures and gear recommendations. Base Layer A good base layer will fit easily under other layers and keep moisture away from little one's skin. Wool is an awesome choice, but there are other less expensive materials that work well. My favorite base layers double as jammies, keeping kiddos snug in bed and making it easy to layer up and head out in the morning. A footed option, like wool tights, is particularly nice for babies. Fleece Bunting Waterproof Coveralls
Wool Socks Warm toes can make the difference between happiness and sadness on the trail, and wool socks are definitely worth the investment for both you and your kiddo. Costco reliably cares adult wool socks that I wear 24/7 in the winter months. (For baby and toddlers, I've had the best luck hunting for deals online.) And, I keep extra adult socks in the car - they are great over baby hands or mittens or as an extra layer on little one's feet in the carrier or stroller. Boots Because my littles can't pass a puddle by without stomping, boots are essential for us year round. While standard rain boots work in warmer temps, I find the heels wear out much faster than other options and aren't likely to make it past one season's wear with how much we adventure outside. Because shopping for footwear can be tricky, here are some of our favorites that have held up well over time. MyMayu - These are my pick for babies and little walkers. Lightweight and cinching high on the leg, I love these from the moment my little explorers start crawling and scooching around (paired with a coverall). The option to add a liner gives them much more mileage than your standard rainboot. Stonz - I love that these can go on over socks or baby's shoes. Like MyMayu, adding a liner allows you to uses these across several seasons. Bogs - Baby bogs are easily for little ones to get on and off all on their own, which is hugely important as my kiddos enter the "do it myself" phase. My youngest loved hers so much that she wore them for any occasion and with any outfit. Keen - Once my toddlers start racking up the miles on their own, the Keen Encanto Waterproof Boot is my pick again and again. I love buying a piece of gear and feeling confident that multiple kids can use it because of how well it wears. The light lining keeps toes warm in fall temps. Judging by the way my kids continually choose these boots over all other footwear options when we head out on the trail, they are comfortable, too. Mittens All of my babies and young toddlers have despised mittens. A pair of my own wool socks pulled up high on the arm before dressing them in a bunting or jacket was the most effective. As they began to explore more, L-Bow or similar mittens that fasten high up on the arm worked best for us. Investing a pair of waterproof rain mittens may also help your little one enjoy muddy play. Hats and More As far as head coverings, I've found how many is more important than what kind, as hats in our house seem to grow legs and walk away. Scarves tend to drag in the snow or get caught on tree branches, so a gaiter that can be pulled up over the face for more coverage is our pick.
Baby or Toddler in the Stroller
Get Out with Friends My toddlers and big kids always do better on the trail with other kids present. Something about being all together gives them the momentum and interest to make their way down the trail. To find friends for outdoor play and hiking, visit Hike it Baby and find your local branch. If you are local to us, check out Hike it Baby Iowa City and Hike it Baby Cedar Rapids. How to Layer: Video on baby layering from Wrap you in Love Winter Layering Tips from Hike it Baby Infographic from Ella's Wool on How to Layer Baby Now that you are all dressed and ready to go, check out the Nested Mama series on Local Family Fun.
The transition into life with a new baby stretches everything - your patience, your partnership, your identity, and so much more. The transition into toddlerhood is something else, though. The baby who previously needed to be transported everywhere can suddenly get places under her own power. The baby who only needed milk and snuggles suddenly voices a whole host of other needs and desires, adamantly and at increasing volume levels. Just like having a baby stretches us as parents and asks us to grow in new and surprising ways, the transition into parenting a toddler asks perhaps even more. As Dr. Shefali Tsabary writes in The Conscious Parent: "The transition to parenthood is complex, requiring us to surrender to an irrevocable loss of our identity as we have thus far known it. To create the internal space required to embrace the tending of a new spirit, the pillars of our old lifestyle have to crumble. Who we were before becoming a parent doesn't and cannot exist with the same ferocity. Once children enter our life, their impact is indelible and we are required to reinvent ourselves in response" (96). If you are anticipating the next stage of baby's development into a toddler or find yourself already in the sticky middle-of-toddler-years days, check out these fabulous resources for setting loving limits and holding them with love and respect.
Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham To get a sense of Markham's approach, check out the AhaParenting website, which has an awesomely helpful index by age and stage. This is one of my first stops when a new kiddo stages throws me for a loop. It's Okay Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Compassionate Kids by Heather Shumaker One of the most anxious points of toddler parenting for me was learning how to navigate my kids social interactions - when to stand back, when to hop in, and how to be helpful. Shumaker gives so many helpful examples for how to handle situations in a positive and productive manner. Playful Parenting: An Exciting New Approach to Raising Children That Will Help You Nurture Close Connections, Solve Behavior Problems, and Encourage Confidence by Lawrence J. Cohen In rough stages, sometimes you just need a fresh tool or outlook to come at problems from a positive and collaborative place. If you find yourself in that place, this is a great read. Siblings without Rivalry: How to Help your Children Live Together so You Can Live Too by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish Toddler parenting takes on a whole new dynamic when you've got sibling squabbles in the mix. Faber and Mazlish made this a super quick read that's easy to distill and implement. And, it helps me remember that sibling conflicts are normal and the perfect opportunity to build skills of conflict negotiation and compassion. The Gentle Sleep Book by Sarah Ockwell-Smith While we'd like to pretend that only tiny babies wake at night, the reality is that waking for reassurance during the night is developmentally normal for toddlers, too. Ockwell-Smith offers gentle suggestions that can help the whole family get more rest while still meeting your toddler's needs in a developmentally appropriate manner. (If you find you need more support making gentle sleep transitions, head on over to Nested Mama's Sleep services.) Mothering your Nursing Toddler by Norma J. Bumgarner Wondering what's normal as you nurse your baby into toddlerhood? This book from La Leche League International provides awesome perspective. (And if you find yourself nursing into a pregnancy, Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flower is the essential read on the topic.) In a nutshell:
The Whole Brain Child offers parenting advice based on neuroscience and a developmental approach to parenting. Instead of expecting children to behave like miniature adults, Siegel and Tina point to the ways in which children's brains are still under construction. Instead of feeling frustrated when our attempts to communicate and handle tricky situations with our children go sideways, the book encourages us to see these moments as opportunities to parent in a manner that ultimately promotes the growth and emotional resiliency we hope our children will one day possess. My reaction: I love how practically the authors approach each of their tips. For each situation, they offer case study examples and a cartoon briefly summarizing the strategy they suggest. Additionally, they provide a kid-friendly cartoon breakdown of each idea such that you can work with your child to develop his or her own understanding of how the mind works. And, each chapter ends with a section for parents, which draws attention to the fact that we, as parents, have so much growing to do in how we handle our own emotions and frustrations. Some quotations of note: "It's also crucial to keep in mind that no matter how nonsensical and frustrating our child's feelings may seem to us, they are real and important to our child. It's vital that we treat them as such in our response" (24). "Even though we will want to help build this metaphorical staircase in our child's brain, there are two important reasons to maintain realistic expectations when it comes to integration. The first is developmental: while the downstairs brain is well developed even at birth, the upstairs brain isn't fully mature until a person reaches his mid-twenties" (41). "Your state of mind can influence your child's state of mind, letting you transform fussiness and irritability into fun, laughter, and connection" (133). My takeaway: The Whole Brain Child is a parenting text with longevity - helping you understand your toddler to your teenager and even some of your adult relationships, too. If you are looking for a straightforward parenting text grounded in neuroscience that will challenge you to grow alongside your child, The Whole Brain Child is that book. Want to see a simple tool that helps save my sanity day in and day out? Behold - the snack plate! While this tray I got for under a dollar at a thrift store seems pretty unimpressive, it has become a critical tool in how I hand snack time day in and day out. As a parent, I approach family eating and meals informed by Ellyn Satter's division of responsibility. In a nutshell, the parent decides the parameters of meals - what is offered at what time and what location. The child retains control of how much he or she eats and which of the offered foods he or she eats. This model of feeding complements a baby-led solids (often referred to as baby-led weaning or BLW) approach and continues the trust for your child that underlies baby-led solids into their toddler and preschooler years (as well as beyond). In the moment, the division of responsibility approach to eating takes away any possible power struggles around food. Long view the hope is that it encourages a healthy attitude toward food.
Want to try out a snack plate with a single kiddo or younger toddlers? Mini-muffin tins or ice-cube trays can make the perfect solo snack tray. If you do try out the snack tray, let me know what you think!
Moving through Pregnancy and Postpartum: interview with Kelli Marie Rice, professor of kinesiology8/9/2018 Our bodies change in incredible ways as we move through the months of pregnancy and the childbearing year. Wondering how you can nourish your body and find balance amid such rapid change? Today, I'm so pleased to share an interview with Kelli Marie Rice who is a professor of kinesiology at Coe College and an expert in wellness and fitness. Kelli is also a mother of two. She graciously shared with me about moving through pregnancy and postpartum from both her academic and practical experience. Before we talk about physical movement through pregnancy and postpartum, I'd love it if you'd share a little bit about how your background drives your passion and expertise in this area. The next chapter in my life took me from Central College in Pella, Iowa, to the University of Iowa and Mercy Hospital in Iowa City. I started pursuing my M.A. in Psychology of Sport and Physical Activity, while also working as an exercise physiologist at Mercy Hospital. My Master’s thesis was my first significant look into this fused interest of mine: movement, mothering, and gender. It is titled “Chasing the Kids, Does it Count?” It was a qualitative study that quantified ‘chasing the kids’ through the use of continuous monitoring (accelerometry), the Kaiser Physical Activity Survey, & interviews with all 66 participants. The results were compared with national physical activity guidelines to determine whether or not chasing the kids provided enough movement for moms to achieve health outcomes. The findings indicated that for this sample of moms (ages 35+ with kids 5 & under) chasing the kids, while exhausting, was not enough to meet the national guidelines for physical activity; however, women who planned physical activity (with or without their kids) were adequate in meeting these guidelines. I also found it interesting that the perceived ‘most vigorous movement of the day’ almost always involved chasing the kids, while the qualitative data debunked that. In short, chasing the kids is not nearly as vigorous or continuous as it feels, and moms generally aren’t moving enough by simply chasing their kids around; however, by holding space for planned times of movement, moms can absolutely be successful in meeting national physical activity guidelines.
I transitioned to an online Adjunct Instructor position with the University of Dubuque as I moved to San Francisco for the opportunity to launch my wellness consulting firm, which was established for the purpose of working alongside a Bulgarian Atomic Physicist on his latest invention, the TAO WellShell. After TAO launched & took Best of CES in Las Vegas, I moved back to Iowa City, got married & began teaching at Coe College. I am entering my 4th year in the Coe College kinesiology department, while continuing to teach online in my 7th year with the University of Dubuque (13th year of teaching overall). Outside of teaching, I am living out my passion for uplifting mamas to love themselves. I support and encourage them by moving with them in ways that empower us, whether that is through leading hikes or by teaching a babywearing dance and fun family fitness class at Anytime Fitness in Coralville. Being a mom is hard work, but with a supportive tribe and feel-good movement/strength, we can truly maximize every ounce of our awesome selves. I love how you point out the importance of support and community as well as movement to a mom's well-being. Your family-oriented classes seem to embody that fusion! How has your knowledge and experience of physical movement and wellness informed your journey into motherhood? And, how has your journey into motherhood shaped informed or shaped the knowledge you bring to your teaching? My knowledge in these areas began with pregnancy and birth preparation. I planned for our home births much like I would train an athlete. I incorporated feel-good movement (walking, prenatal Kundalini yoga with Gurmukh, dance), squatting while Hypnobirthing for 60-75 minutes every day, and I performed a variety of abdominal exercises to prevent diastasis recti. I also adjusted my diet to support the demands of pregnancy and altered my vitamin supplementation. I journaled through 3 books with each pregnancy: Waiting in Wonder, Sacred Pregnancy, & Love Letters to Baby. Both of my babies were born in a birth tub at home: 8 lb 15 oz Delaney in a 4 hour labor, and 8 lb 7 oz Garrett in a 3.25 hour labor, 22 months later. Moving on from birth, I incorporated babywearing, breastfeeding, and many other aspects of Attachment Parenting into our lifestyle. I conducted my own secondary research before making decisions about parenting and lifestyle choices, just as I would read a nutrition label or investigate an essential oil in our adult lives. My husband and I did what worked for us, in terms of maintaining balance in our lives, despite what may seem popular, common, or pushed by others. In addition to placenta encapsulation, movement and socialization were key components in my postpartum life. I remind myself that to offer whole lives to our children in a sustainable manner, we must be whole mamas. For me, this means maintaining balance among physical, emotional, social, intellectual, spiritual, environmental, financial, and occupational dimensions of wellness. Many of these areas can overlap! For example, babywearing hiking with friends: physical, social, environmental, and arguably emotional, intellectual and spiritual; plus even financial since it’s a great free activity! I try to incorporate every dimension of wellness into every day, for both myself and our kids. Pregnancy and especially the postpartum period is both empowering and humbling. Not only does it challenge our bodies and shift our hormones and sleep patterns, but these tiny humans change our hearts in ways only a mama can describe. In addition to compassion and lifting up other mamas, a key way motherhood has altered my views is through the need for slowness. At least a decade ago, I met with author Carl Honore to discuss his book In Praise of Slowness. The greatest single thing I do as a mom that fosters the overall wellness of myself and my kids is embracing a lifestyle of slowness. We admire insects. We touch trees. We catch tadpoles and gently hold baby toads. We go to yoga classes for each of my babies (2 years and 4 months). We read nearly 1200 books before my daughter turned 1. I plan 10 minutes for us to get our shoes on and leave the house, just so we don’t have to rush. I find when I am slow and present, everyone is gentle and happy. I carry these values into my teaching, both at the gym and in the college courses I teach. I create a relaxed, come-as-you-are environment. Everyone deserves to have their body celebrated. Everyone should we warmly accepted exactly as they are. Everyone benefits from being supported and uplifted by others in whatever way is most comfortable for them. Everyone has a need for multidimensional wellness, balance. I also find the AP principle of connection prevents or solves the vast majority of conflicts and challenges. People love the way it feels to feel connected. As we are practicing this 24/7 with our children, why not extend that same love to the world around us? It’s pretty inspiring! As far as incorporating physical movement into daily life - beyond "chasing the kids" - do you have any advice for pregnant or postpartum moms? I do! Many moms feel selfish prioritizing things for themselves, while others find logistics (childcare, breastfeeding) or money to be obstacles that make physical activity particularly challenging. To overcome these obstacles, I encourage mamas to keep it simple, think outside of the box, and choose movement that is enjoyable and feels good. Keep it simple: While both are nice, you don’t need a gym membership to be active and you don’t need a personal trainer to see results; walking, body weight exercises, hiking and dancing are great physical activities that are free! Rather than waiting for the perfect plan to emerge, simply choose one way to move each day and listen to your body along the way! Think outside of the box: I am a big fan of setting up moms for success. It can be helpful to include our kids in workouts so we aren’t relying on good naps or things that may be out of our control. I love babywearing workouts as a way to accomplish this! In addition to making a workout more likely, babywearing workouts are a sweet way to bond with Baby. Hiking, dancing, walking and even things like squats are great options that can be compatible with babywearing. For mamas with older children, movement can be as simple as putting on music and dancing together! Games, such as tag, soccer or racing to a tree can be fun ways to move as a family. Playing twister or bending our bodies into shapes and letters can be a creative way to stretch alongside our tiny helpers. Moms are some of the most creative people on Earth; we can use these mothering skills to turn essential self-care into magical memories with our tribe. Choose fun, feel-good movement: Keep in mind it takes 9 months to gain pregnancy weight; patience and consistency are critical components of pregnancy and postpartum fitness. Between physical body changes, hormonal shifts, changes in sleep patterns, and just figuring out our new role, now is the time to move only in ways that are enjoyable. Incorporating music or moving with friends can help make physical activity more enjoyable, as well! Set your sights on feel-good movement and celebrate your beautiful, strong, amazing self! Thanks so much to Kelli for sharing her wisdom and experiences here on the Nested Mama blog!
As a parent of three fantastic but oft-waking kiddos, I know how baby sleep can become sticky wicket.
For whatever reason, it seems like everyone from family members to the grocery store checkout person to the old woman walking her dog in the park wants to know if your baby is a "good" baby and if he or she "sleeps through the night." And, if your baby sleeps like, well, a baby, he or she likely needs nighttime parental support for feeds, diapers, and snuggles. You may wonder this is normal (which it is), and you may wonder if you are doing something wrong (you aren't). When it comes to babies and sleep, it isn't a problem unless it's a problem. That's where Infant Sleep Education comes in - a heart-centered, holistic approach to family sleep that keeps in mind what is developmentally normal for babies while also understanding that balancing life and baby may require some outside support. If you find yourselves overwhelmed and exhausted, but also feel strongly about parenting your baby or toddler in a responsive manner to promote attachment, this is for you. Are you an expectant parent? Fantastic! You can get a handle on normal baby sleep as well as strategies for soothing baby and finding balance even before baby arrives by attending an Infant Sleep Education Workshop. This course helps you and your partner get on the same page as far as what baby will need and think through strategies to help you work together as a team, find balance, and rally support as needed. Are you the parent of a newborn and find yourself wishing you'd learned about sleep ahead of time? A private Sleep Education Workshop with time for Q & A can give you the resources you need to feel confident as you make this leap into parenthood. You may also want to consider day or overnight postpartum doula support to help you maximize rest and healing. Are you looking for education and support as the parent of a baby who wakes frequently at night? Nested Mama offers private sleep consultations that start with your values and goals to help you fit the sleep piece into the larger puzzle of your busy lives. Are you the parent of a toddler and ready to make a gentle transition away from night feeds or sharing sleep? Nested Mama offers private sleep consultations that can help you create the plan for a respectful transition. Because your goals and values are the most important in your parenting journey, we'll keep those at the forefront of your Sleep Strategy Package. Still not sure if Infant Sleep Education is the right fit for your family? Reach out to Nested Mama and schedule your free 15-min chat today. |
AuthorJohanna received a Ph.D. in English in 2014. Now a postpartum doula and educator of childbirth, breastfeeding, and infant sleep, she blogs about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and parenting. Archives
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