When anticipating the arrival of our first child, we took learning about the birth process very seriously. A constant (and rotating) stack of books about childbirth sat on our night stands, and I made use of our Amazon Prime membership to readily order those books I wanted to add to our family library. We even took a 12-week childbirth class and readily did the reading and homework required. An academic by training, I thought if I could amass all the right knowledge, I could conqueror the unknown and feel ready for baby. While I was grateful for the birth knowledge I gained, in hindsight I wished I would have spent more time actively preparing for what came after. Birth, as they say, is just the beginning, and we had so much to learn. With all that in mind, I'm so thrilled to offer this Planning for Postpartum Workshop. This course doesn't replace childbirth education. Instead, it fill a much needed gap in how we view postpartum and prepare for the changes that come in the days, weeks, and months after baby's birth. The course is a workshop, because having conversations with your partner and defining your goals and your specific plan are important. The workshop gives you the tools and space you need to make the plan - the plan itself is totally unique to your family and what you need to flourish. Ready for the ease that comes with knowing you are prepared for postpartum? Register for the next Planning for Postpartum workshop!
Looking for more support as you transition into life with baby? See the full range of Nested Mama services - doula support, breastfeeding education, childbirth education, eco baby consultations, and infant sleep education. Head on over to the Doulas of Iowa City blog for a post discussing the benefits of prenatal chiropractic care and what to expect when you visit Dr. Jordan Long at Robinson Family Wellness.
Looking to connect with doulas, childbirth educators, and more? Come to our next Meet the Doulas of Iowa City, and learn more about the services our member businesses offer to pregnant, birthing, and postpartum families. And, if you can't make the event, contact any of our member businesses for a free consultation. Looking for more support as you move through your pregnancy and prepare for baby? Nested Mama offers prenatal doula support services to help you relax, settle in, and feel confident as you transition into parenthood. Wondering what prenatal doula support services would look like for you? As with all Nested Mama services, prenatal doula support is tailored to your specific needs and concerns. See the info graphic below for an idea of what prenatal doula support can include. Best of all, prenatal doula services can be bundled with Nested Mama childbirth education, eco baby consultations, infant sleep education, breastfeeding education and postpartum doula services.
Got questions? Contact Nested Mama or explore the Nested Mama website for more info. Some days of mothering are beautiful. Some days are beautifully intense. Some are beautifully intense and also exhausting and hard. I remember being in my second pregnancy and so tired. Just so tired. And, despite my overwhelming desire to sleep and rest, my wonderful toddler continued to move into new, exciting, and challenging stages. These stages required lots of physical play, vigilance over choking hazards, and growing pains for me as I learned how to parent her in year two. A few weeks ago, I found myself scrolling through the posts of one of my favorite online parenting support forums. A mom* posted about the challenges of being in the third trimester of a pregnancy and parenting a toddler. She asked if anyone could share some suggestions for how to handle a toddler who was struggling with change and transition. Thinking primarily of helpful parenting tips, I shared a favorite parenting resource I turn to when a phase of kiddo development sends me scurrying for new tools. I also mentioned my go-to recipe of empathy, verbalizing my kids feelings, and repeating over and over, “My child is having a hard time, not giving me a hard time.” But, a few days later while out on a run, I couldn’t stop thinking about this mom and my response to her post. To be fair, the original post had asked for parenting tips, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d neglected something important in my reply. In my rush to offer helpful advice, I forget to say something even more vital - that finding yourself at the end of a pregnancy and facing toddler parenting is hard. So hard. And, it is okay, human, normal, and healthy that this would be a challenging time. As my feet found their rhythm on the pavement, my mind continued to swirl around the words I wished I said. These words would offer not a list of how-tos, but acknowledgment, validation, and support. Amazingly, the next time I found myself scrolling through the forum, this lovely mom had responded to my comment. She thanked me for my suggestions, but also expressed the same fear that lurks - sometimes fuzzily, sometimes sharply - in the back of my mind - the fear that I am failing my child. With that opening, I found the space to say the words that had played on a loop in my head for all those miles. Words that, better than any article or parenting tip, speak to the reality of that moment when heart and hands are full and body and spirit are tired. Gathering my courage, I wrote: “I was thinking about you on my run this morning. And, if I may be so bold, I wanted to share this with you. I know it is hard - this beautifully intense season of being at the end of a pregnancy, on the precipice of a huge family change, and parenting a toddler. Honestly, my end of pregnancy/early postpartum days with my toddlers were some of my big parenting challenges. But, I also know that one day, maybe in a month or a year, you'll look back on this time in a quiet moment and see it all with such clarity. You will feel both wonder at and utter conviction in your strength as a mother and your love for your children. You are not letting him down. Even when the individual moments seem oh so messy, know that you are enough.” I realized, as I posted this response, that I was speaking as much to her as myself. Each season has its own intensity, its own challenge. But, if I’m honest, the biggest challenges come not from my children, but from me. How do I grow and change alongside my children? How do I parent them in a season that requires I constantly fill their cups when I find mine is almost always drained to the last drop?
For in responding to this lovely mom late in pregnancy and on the verge of transitioning into life as a mom of two, my own struggles surfaced. I was reminded of how I wept as though my heart was breaking about my fears of having enough love for two children before my labor finally started with my second child. I was reminded about how the times that seem most challenging with my children almost always coincide with my own big feelings rising up and fears speaking loudly in my mind. I was reminded, too, about the driving conviction behind my leap into work as a prenatal and postpartum doula. In these moments of transition, we need support. We need to know we aren’t alone. And, we need to know that we can do it, no matter how hard or overwhelming or frustrating it seems in the moment. If you find yourself in one of these beautifully intense seasons of mothering, dear reader, know that the moments may seem messy, but one day you will step back and see it clearly, outlined by your strength and love. *All details in this blog are shared with the permission of the mom who posted the original comment that is its inspiration. I am grateful for her willingness to let me share these thoughts and also the way in which our conversation deepened my own understanding. Looking for more support? Learn more about Nested Mama Prenatal & Postpartum Doula Support. Connect with Nested Mama on Facebook. |
AuthorJohanna received a Ph.D. in English in 2014. Now a postpartum doula and educator of childbirth, breastfeeding, and infant sleep, she blogs about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and parenting. Archives
February 2021
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