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When my work as a postpartum doula comes up in causal conversation, people often want to know about overnight visits. For those without children, the idea of bringing a doula into your home overnight may seem like a surprising choice. But, if you've ever had a newborn, you know the combination of exhaustion and bliss those hours, days, and weeks bring. As I reply to these casual questions, I sometimes find it hard to put into words what an overnight visit looks like because the needs of each family can be so distinct, and I tailor the support I offer to those specific needs. Because of my training, I combine knowledge and experience concerning birth, postpartum, breastfeeding, childbirth education, and sleep education. I love learning and want to bring the best support for my clients - whether during the day or night. And, I'm committed to directing my clients toward evidence-based resources and trusted practitioners - if your question is out of my scope of practice, I want to direct you to those who can answer and support you along the way. The infographic below gives a sense of what an overnight postpartum visit looks like, but if you are considering overnight postpartum doula support, a free consultation (in phone or in person) will help you feel confident in your plans for postpartum. 
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 Looking for a way to safely regain strength postpartum but not sure where to go? To answer this question and more, I’m thrilled to share an interview with Dr. Hannah Anderson, DC, CACCP of BIRTHFIT Cedar Rapids. As the BIRTHFIT Cedar Rapids Regional Director, Hannah shares about the movement that is BIRTHFIT and how it can benefit you to strengthen your body before and after birth. Before we talk about BIRTHFIT Cedar Rapids, I'd love to know about your background. Have you always been interested in fitness or when did that passion develop? Sure! I was always a B team athlete if that makes sense? I've never been competitive enough to go crazy, but I've always liked sports, movement, and play. As a chiropractor I look at how people move all day long. I have a specialty certification in pediatrics and pregnancy, and care for a lot of moms during and after pregnancy, watching how they change throughout the whole beautiful motherhood transition. Like a lot of moms, I'm also a planner. When I was pregnant I wanted a plan for working out, and had heard of BIRTHFIT through the grapevine of other doctors I went to grad school with. I love how the online prenatal programming emphasized meeting your body where it's at today, and moving with intention. Before BIRTHFIT I did the classic "hop on the elliptical for 20 min just to say I worked out today". I wasn't working towards anything and it was hard to stay motivated by anything other than being able to tell someone I worked out, which wasn't very fulfilling. BIRTHFIT emphasizes training for birth. Whether you call yourself an athlete or not, as soon as you're pregnant, you're "in season" for birth. It's possibly the biggest athletic event of your life and you don't know if it'll be a 3 hour sprint or a 36 hour marathon. At a certain point in my pregnancy I couldn't run anymore, but I still wanted to be active. It felt wrong, and weird. However, I could lift a bunch of heavy stuff. So I would go to the gym with my big belly and nestle in with the big body builders (they got out of my way pretty fast). I did lifted and did conditioning that was modeled after contractions (work really hard for 90 seconds and rest!) and was in the gym until 39.5 weeks. BIRTHFIT Postpartum programming was just as awesome and helpful, and an amazing reminder that healing takes time, and postpartum movement should be intentionally strengthening you for mom life and not just "losing weight". It's way bigger than that!  I love the idea of using your workout as training for birth and focusing on gaining back strength in the postpartum period. Overall, our culture sends us a much different message about pregnant, birthing, and postpartum bodies. Can you walk us through what we could expect from one of your classes? How do your classes encourage members to understand the importance of healing and the importance of, as you said, intentionally strengthening your body for this next stage of life? Absolutely. We start every class with some breath work to engage our diaphragm, and wake up the core and pelvic floor. It's also time for a mini-mediation, or at least setting the intention to appreciate your awesome mom bod. Then we shift our focus to core strengthening, especially in a way that is safe for a postpartum body and helps moms heal diastasis recti (the abdominal split). We do strength training based on functional movement patterns (i.e. stuff you have to do for the rest of your life: squatting, pushing, pulling, etc.). They're movements that make life easier, not vanity bicep curls. Then there's conditioning, again, movements tailored to the postpartum body, so not a lot of running or jumping, but still work. We end with some mom chat time, words of wisdom, q&a, and homework before the next class - which might be as easy as buying yourself a coffee or making time for a relaxing bath! It's very chill, and class sizes are limited so everyone gets individual attention. You're encouraged to move with the body you have today, not the body you wish you had. Generally, non-mobile babies are welcome, but a lot of moms love having that hour to themselves twice a week! I love babies (who doesen't!), but it's fun to be the one to turn the tables and take care of moms instead so they can keep going for everyone else. That's fantastic that you use it as a space to encourage moms to practice self-care. I often think that's one of the hardest parts of the transition into motherhood - learning to take care of your needs, too. Has teaching BIRTHFIT shaped your own motherhood journey or are their lessons you've learned in motherhood that you bring to your classes? It has. I (luckily) don't really know pregnancy/birth/postpartum without knowing about BIRTHFIT and having the positive influence of some bad ass women. Without it though, I could easily see myself having been that person completely frustrated and annoyed with the changes in my physical fitness after baby. I remember walking up hill for the first time outside. I wasn't even pushing the stroller, my husband was. I had to stop because my pelvic floor was so weak. I had a great birth, with no complications, and no tearing, and I was still taken back to ground zero because bringing a baby into this world is so transformative. Luckily with the whole BIRTHFIT community reinforcing the importance of a slow and steady recovery, I was able to appreciate it all (even in the midst of a colicky baby), instead of getting angry with myself. I think a lot of moms don't understand the timeline of healing because society pushes us to jump back in at full speed after this huge life event. A lot of us either go back to work, or feel like we should be "back to normal" after 8-12 weeks, when physiologically, the tissue in our bodies takes on average 280 days to heal.... way longer than 12 weeks! I like to remind moms that they should have zero obligations other than feeding and snuggling that new baby for 2 weeks minimum. Exercise shouldn't even be on your mind the first 2 weeks, but some moms, especially ones that like to exercise, feel the pressure to lose baby weight like a celebrity. It's not reasonable and not necessary. It was hard for me to relax and just "be", instead of being the busy body, but it was a a great lesson to learn and to reinforce with other moms. If all you accomplish in a day is being with your child, nourishing yourselves, and enjoying it - that's enough. You're enough. As a postpartum doula, I LOVE to hear other perinatal professionals sending that message to birthing and postpartum women. We are lucky to have you as a resource in our community, Hannah! Thank you so much for sharing a bit about you and the work you do with BIRTHFIT - I know so many women who could benefit from the encouragement you provide.
Want more info on pregnancy, postpartum, and parenting in the Corridor? Follow Nested Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Looking for more support on your journey into parenting? Learn about Nested Mama services here.
When anticipating the arrival of our first child, we took learning about the birth process very seriously. A constant (and rotating) stack of books about childbirth sat on our night stands, and I made use of our Amazon Prime membership to readily order those books I wanted to add to our family library. We even took a 12-week childbirth class and readily did the reading and homework required. An academic by training, I thought if I could amass all the right knowledge, I could conqueror the unknown and feel ready for baby. While I was grateful for the birth knowledge I gained, in hindsight I wished I would have spent more time actively preparing for what came after. Birth, as they say, is just the beginning, and we had so much to learn. With all that in mind, I'm so thrilled to offer this Planning for Postpartum Workshop. This course doesn't replace childbirth education. Instead, it fill a much needed gap in how we view postpartum and prepare for the changes that come in the days, weeks, and months after baby's birth. The course is a workshop, because having conversations with your partner and defining your goals and your specific plan are important. The workshop gives you the tools and space you need to make the plan - the plan itself is totally unique to your family and what you need to flourish.  Ready for the ease that comes with knowing you are prepared for postpartum? Register for the next Planning for Postpartum workshop!
Looking for more support as you transition into life with baby? See the full range of Nested Mama services - doula support, breastfeeding education, childbirth education, eco baby consultations, and infant sleep education.  When I am asked what foods can be nourishing and easy to prepare postpartum, sweet potatoes always top my list. I love that they are nutrient dense and have a pleasing hint of sweetness that makes a nice contribution in a variety of recipes.
As part of Nested Mama’s prenatal doula support services, I offer meal prep assistance to stock your freezer before baby. And postpartum, I’m happy to prepare you a hot meal and then hold your little one so you can eat it with two hands while it is still warm. Today I’m sharing with you some of my favorite recipes that I make frequently in my house and recommend to my doula clients. All of these are low-effort and packed with veggies and protein - which makes them a double win. Skillet Sweet Potato Chicken Hash with Eggs from Skinnytaste This one-pan meal is packed with plenty of protein and nourishing sweet potato. It comes together quickly and requires minimal attention while cooking, which is ideal at busy times. PO-TACOS from Weelicious With a base of roasted sweet potatoes, Po-tacos are great for using up leftover chili, shredded chicken breast, or topped with a variety of meat, beans, cheese, guacamole, or whatever you have on hand. Our family really enjoys them with plain greek yogurt, ground sausage, pesto, and asparagus. And, it has the added bonus of letting your kiddos customize what toppings they like, which always increases mealtime enthusiasm at our house. One-pan Sausage with Sweet Potato and Asparagus from Primavera Kitchen I love a good sheet pan dinner - throw it in the oven and your work is done. Clean up is simple, too. Here, the flavors of the three ingredients pair so well and can be prepped in just a few minutes. Crockpot Beef and Sweet Potato Stew This stew also works well in the a pressure cooker, which means you can prep and freeze ahead of time. When ready to use, just a quick thaw and a drop in the pressure cooker give you a delicious stew with relatively little effort. The combo of cinnamon and apricots really sets this apart from other stews, making it a nutritious option for comfort food. Got a favorite sweet potato recipe? I’d love to know! Drop it in the comments below. Looking for prenatal or postpartum support. Find all of Nested Mama's services here.  As my kids get older, I’m starting to hear the the dreaded “I’m bored” more and more. In general, I’m a big fan of boredom - I want my kids to have moments of quiet in their day, where their thoughts can run wild and imaginations flourish. Often, when I start to hear declarations of boredom, I find that just going outside gives them a change of scenery and the inspiration they need to get in a groove of exploration and creativity. But, when caring for a new baby, I need my deck stacked with easy activities to supplement those quiet moments, especially activities that can be done indoors with relatively low prep and little cleanup. One of my favorite resources that meets all of these criteria is Art Hub for Kids. These kid-friendly art tutorials often feature an adult and child working alongside each other. In particular, I love the drawing tutorials, because my kids can do the prep all on their own (grab out paper and markers) and clean up takes no time at all. I also love how the tutorials say again and again that it is okay if the kids’ projects look different - that is just their own unique style. And, the tutorials gently emphasize practice, which I find an encouraging outlook for kids as they develop these skills. In my experience around 4 or 5 is a good age for the simpler tutorials, but that will vary greatly on your child’s own development and interest. My middle child enjoyed watching and scribbling on his own paper or sticking stickers while his older sister did the tutorials. Now, as a young four year-old, a switch flipped and he’s on fire to learn to draw. In any case, if it isn’t a hit at this moment for your child, you can always try again later when a few quiet minutes of art could do you both some good. Looking for more suggestions for a better postpartum? Register for the next Nested Mama Planning for Postpartum Workshop on June 2 at Robinson Family Wellness in Coralville. Connect with Nested Mama on Facebook for more on pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and parenting.
 Our cultural moment is an odd one. Things we laud - bouncing back after baby, returning to our pre-baby body (as though we could ever truly be the same), and getting back to our normal obligations as soon as possible after the birth of a baby. We also speak highly of so-called “good” babies - those babies that “don’t make a fuss,” those babies that are “happy to be put down,” and those mythical babies that “sleep through the night” within weeks of birth - as though these little markers of supposed independence are the ultimate indicators of a baby’s relative goodness or future successes or the trajectory of an entire parenting journey. Oof. That's a crushing amount of pressure. Recently, in a continuing education webinar with Julia of Newborn Mothers Collective, I learned something fascinating. In cultures that still embrace the postpartum period as one that requires specific care and traditions, the expectations for that 40-day period immediately following the birth of a baby are straightforward. Mothers are to feed their babies and to fall in the love with them. That’s it. This is simultaneously an incredibly simple and complex idea of the postpartum period to carry out. For truly, just resting, bonding with baby, and meeting baby’s needs for food and comfort can fill your days postpartum. But, juxtaposing this view of postpartum against the way the term is most commonly used in our culture (that is, laden with the expectation that you cruise out of those postpartum days and leave behind that postpartum body with little acknowledgement of the tiny, completely dependent-upon-you human you have just birthed), the radical differences in these approaches to life after baby emerge with clarity. Given these cultural pressures and a lack of tradition in our contemporary moment to meet our needs on the other side of a birth, what can we do if we want to embrace a different definition of postpartum? Start with a postpartum plan. So, what is a postpartum plan? A postpartum plan is like a birth plan, where you learn as much as you can about the process of postpartum recovery and demands of newborn care, explore your options with evidence-based information, and together with your partner or support person, craft a statement communicating your wishes with those who care for you in the days and weeks after baby arrives. Just like a birth plan, the postpartum plan is made with the understanding that life can be unpredictable and postpartum life can come with different situations that need different levels of adaptability and care. But, a postpartum plan also brings with it the understanding that having the ability to make choices for your family and being supported in those choices matter immensely. Perhaps most profoundly, a postpartum plan offers the opportunity for you to connect with your partner and dig deep into your priorities. Forming your own family unit comes with the sudden need to establish and communicate boundaries with family and friends. A postpartum plan aids you in thinking through your needs as a little family and how to create boundaries that help you flourish. Additionally, a postpartum plan offers you the chance to think through and engage your support team ahead of time. Who can bring you meals, help with older siblings, or grab you groceries after you return from the hospital? Who can walk the dog or care for pets while you are in-hospital? Who can come and hold the baby for a bit while you take a hot shower or grab a much need nap? Who can you call or text when you need to reach out for support? By creating a postpartum plan, you are creating the space and building the support essential for a better postpartum experience. Rather than rush through it as though a race to the finish, you can prioritize what matters to your family and savor the first days and weeks with your little one. While we can’t change our culture’s view of postpartum with a snap of our fingers, we can do all in our power to embrace a different view of postpartum in our own lives. Do you want to make a postpartum plan but don’t know where to start? I’m thrilled to share that I offer a Planning for Postpartum Workshop as part of Nested Mama’s services. Available in private and group settings, these workshops combine education about the physical and emotional realities of the postpartum period with a workshop that steps you and your partner through the conversations you need to craft a postpartum plan that works perfectly for your little family. Workshop topics include: Finding Joy - acknowledging yourself and your partner Setting Expectations - understanding postpartum recovery Bringing Baby Home - understanding infant behavior Setting Boundaries - charting your vision for postpartum life Intimacy After Baby - deepening your connection as a couple For information on the next workshop or webinar or to register, click here.  One of the topics mothers expecting their second baby often bring up in conversation is that of how to integrate older siblings and baby into family life during the postpartum period.
When offering advice and experience on this topic, I often share links to some of my favorite parenting websites (found here and here) or books that talk about sibling integration (found here and here). Today, I’m going to share with you one of my favorite resources for creating quiet time in our day and providing my bigger kids something to do when we all need a break: Sparkle Stories. We make use of this resource all the time, even though youngest is now approaching two. But, these audio stories can be especially helpful in that postpartum window when the need for quiet breaks may be more frequent. Sparkles Stories has a free weekly podcast, audio stories for purchase, and a monthly story subscription. The story subscription offers access to over 1,000 audio stories. You can sort them by age (from 3+ to 9+), topic, or series. Currently, my kiddos favorite series features Martin and Sylvia - a home-schooled sibling pair who love fairies and imagination. Sparkles Stories offers a podcast with a new story a week, as well as featuring a free story on their homepage and many free stories on the Sparkle Stories Blog. And, fantastically, they also offer a 10-day free trial, if you’d like a fuller sense of the depth of their library. For us, Sparkle Stories doesn’t replace cuddling together and reading. Instead, the audio stories provide a perfect quiet time activity, and they give us all the a bit of a break, which we all need come the afternoon. Anticipating a second or more baby and looking for support with sibling integration? Head over to Nested Mama to find out how a postpartum doula can aid you in this time. Some days of mothering are beautiful. Some days are beautifully intense. Some are beautifully intense and also exhausting and hard. I remember being in my second pregnancy and so tired. Just so tired. And, despite my overwhelming desire to sleep and rest, my wonderful toddler continued to move into new, exciting, and challenging stages. These stages required lots of physical play, vigilance over choking hazards, and growing pains for me as I learned how to parent her in year two. A few weeks ago, I found myself scrolling through the posts of one of my favorite online parenting support forums. A mom* posted about the challenges of being in the third trimester of a pregnancy and parenting a toddler. She asked if anyone could share some suggestions for how to handle a toddler who was struggling with change and transition. Thinking primarily of helpful parenting tips, I shared a favorite parenting resource I turn to when a phase of kiddo development sends me scurrying for new tools. I also mentioned my go-to recipe of empathy, verbalizing my kids feelings, and repeating over and over, “My child is having a hard time, not giving me a hard time.” But, a few days later while out on a run, I couldn’t stop thinking about this mom and my response to her post. To be fair, the original post had asked for parenting tips, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d neglected something important in my reply. In my rush to offer helpful advice, I forget to say something even more vital - that finding yourself at the end of a pregnancy and facing toddler parenting is hard. So hard. And, it is okay, human, normal, and healthy that this would be a challenging time. As my feet found their rhythm on the pavement, my mind continued to swirl around the words I wished I said. These words would offer not a list of how-tos, but acknowledgment, validation, and support. Amazingly, the next time I found myself scrolling through the forum, this lovely mom had responded to my comment. She thanked me for my suggestions, but also expressed the same fear that lurks - sometimes fuzzily, sometimes sharply - in the back of my mind - the fear that I am failing my child. With that opening, I found the space to say the words that had played on a loop in my head for all those miles. Words that, better than any article or parenting tip, speak to the reality of that moment when heart and hands are full and body and spirit are tired. Gathering my courage, I wrote: “I was thinking about you on my run this morning. And, if I may be so bold, I wanted to share this with you. I know it is hard - this beautifully intense season of being at the end of a pregnancy, on the precipice of a huge family change, and parenting a toddler. Honestly, my end of pregnancy/early postpartum days with my toddlers were some of my big parenting challenges. But, I also know that one day, maybe in a month or a year, you'll look back on this time in a quiet moment and see it all with such clarity. You will feel both wonder at and utter conviction in your strength as a mother and your love for your children. You are not letting him down. Even when the individual moments seem oh so messy, know that you are enough.”  I realized, as I posted this response, that I was speaking as much to her as myself. Each season has its own intensity, its own challenge. But, if I’m honest, the biggest challenges come not from my children, but from me. How do I grow and change alongside my children? How do I parent them in a season that requires I constantly fill their cups when I find mine is almost always drained to the last drop?
For in responding to this lovely mom late in pregnancy and on the verge of transitioning into life as a mom of two, my own struggles surfaced. I was reminded of how I wept as though my heart was breaking about my fears of having enough love for two children before my labor finally started with my second child. I was reminded about how the times that seem most challenging with my children almost always coincide with my own big feelings rising up and fears speaking loudly in my mind. I was reminded, too, about the driving conviction behind my leap into work as a prenatal and postpartum doula. In these moments of transition, we need support. We need to know we aren’t alone. And, we need to know that we can do it, no matter how hard or overwhelming or frustrating it seems in the moment. If you find yourself in one of these beautifully intense seasons of mothering, dear reader, know that the moments may seem messy, but one day you will step back and see it clearly, outlined by your strength and love. *All details in this blog are shared with the permission of the mom who posted the original comment that is its inspiration. I am grateful for her willingness to let me share these thoughts and also the way in which our conversation deepened my own understanding. Looking for more support? Learn more about Nested Mama Prenatal & Postpartum Doula Support. Connect with Nested Mama on Facebook.  Wondering what you can do to ease your fur baby’s transition from only child to happy sibling status when you bring baby home? To answer this question and more, I’m thrilled to share an interview with Rebecca from Pals for Paws Petsitting. As a pet care professional, Rebecca shares important strategies for integrating your beloved animals and your new bundle of joy. And as a mom, she shares her personal postpartum experience and how life after baby doesn’t always look the way one expects. Before we get to questions about pets and babies, I'd love to know how you and your husband Aaron began Pals for Paws. What drew you to starting this business? We both loved animals, of course. Aaron grew up with a house full of dogs and cats - due to family allergies, I did not. Still, I had dreams of being a veterinarian, and worked for a vet in high school (where I promptly learned I did not want to be a vet anymore!). In college I worked for an animal shelter and pet supply store. Aaron's aunt had friends who needed pet care and suggested us, we went to meet with the lady, and she asked how much we charged. Charged?! I thought, amazed that someone would pay us to hang out with her animals. We took care of her animals, then she referred another friend, and another. I was in school for graphic design so I built us a website, and we started getting strangers for clients. It was very exciting and surprisingly busy. When we completed school, we both got full-time jobs and had to start turning down our clients. Aaron was unhappy in his job. We felt a little bad turning down the work we loved (the animals) in favor of the work he was struggling to enjoy, so we took a leap and he quit his job and started waiting tables so we could focus on the business. It grew and grew. Eventually, he was able to stop waiting tables and I was able to quit my full-time job, then quit my freelance work. It took about 7 years to go from our first clients to sustaining income for two people, and from there we added employees. We are almost 12 years in and employ five people. That's an amazing story, Rebecca. In those 12 years, I'm sure you've seen many clients bring home new babies. Can you share with us any tips for how to get ready to integrate a new baby and pets? Specifically, are there things families can do prenatally to make for an easier transition? Oh yes - many clients! I very much suggest taking your dog to training prior to the baby arriving. If you have never done training before, and especially if you regard your dog's "bad" behaviors as sweet quirks, this is the time to address them, NOT after. If the dog barks a lot, or jumps, it's time to start working on those issues. Training will also give you a better general sense of how to communicate with your dog and tools to use once the baby arrives. Even if you have a very well-behaved dog, I suggest refreshing them on commands like "Stay," "Off," and "Place." These are commands that you will be using! With a new baby, you will need space, and having a "Place" command teaches your dog that they have "their" space and they need to go to it. "Off" or "Leave it" is useful for dogs who are excessively interested in the baby's toys or, later, snacks. And "Stay" is something you'll use often for when visitors arrive. You will not be able to teach your baby to "Stay," but you can teach your dog, and that will make life easier. In terms of making the transition easier on the dog, in the months leading up to the baby's arrival, think about an area that can be the dog's space so they have a safe place to go to where the baby is not allowed. Let them become comfortable in this space prior to the baby coming so it doesn't feel like a time out or punishment space. If there are any areas that will be off limits for them when baby comes, start blocking those areas ahead of time. Also, think about how their routine might change and make those changes in advance so they become accustomed to fewer walks, walks at different times, shorter walks, going potty in the yard, and tapering down one-on-one time. While it's tempting to go all out giving them as much love as possible since it's about to change, that will be all the more abrupt of a change when the baby arrives. You don't want the dog to associate their decline in quality of life with the arrival of the baby. Plus, many pet parents feel guilty about "not having time for the dog" after the baby arrives. Getting yourself used to the new normal in advance of the rush of hormones (because let's face it, you're going to feel guilty about literally everything) may ease those feelings because it's not an abrupt change for you either! Finally, get the baby equipment out so they are familiar with it. Strollers and car seats can be a bit scary, especially if you have a skittish dog! If you are installing a gate in your vehicle, do that when you put the car seat in. Trust me when I say that it is much, much easier to address and prepare for these things during pregnancy than during postpartum! I love the idea of slowly easing into the changes ahead a time - makes so much sense to make these changes when you have the time and energy before baby arrives. If we follow this plan before baby, what would suggest we do after baby arrives to make a more positive transition? The traditional wisdom is to bring home a blanket or piece of clothing with the baby's scent from the hospital for your dog to get used to before bringing baby home from the hospital. When you actually come home, the baby should come in last - your pup is going to be so excited to see you after you've been away for a few days. He or she will most likely not be taking care to be gentle with the unexpected additional tiny human being in tow. When the baby is introduced, you can do it on whatever timeline feels comfortable to you, given your dog's behavior. The AKC suggests letting the dog get used to the baby's smell and sounds for a few days prior to letting the dog approach the baby. That being said, I'm not sure I know anyone who actually was able to do that! Regardless of how long you wait, you'll want a separate person holding the dog on a leash and paying close attention to their behavior. The dog will pick up on your nerves, so try to stay calm and positive. Whoever is holding the leash can also have treats if your dog handles itself well with treats - my dogs tend to get overly excited so I would not introduce that stimulus for my crew! Speak in your normal, happy voice and allow the dog to sniff the baby's feet from a distance. Things to watch for in terms of nervousness in a dog would be licking of lips or a tense stance. Praise your dog for gentle behavior then redirect to a sit or lay-down and give the dog some good pets and love. In my experience it really is common to see dogs immediately fall into a protective, gentle role around babies, BUT you don't want to just bank on that. Even if you have the friendliest dog, you still need to be proactive and careful when they're together. The dog should associate positive feelings with being around the baby, so having a partner (or even friends or visitors) love on the doggie in the same room as the baby will help make those associations. I do want to point out that if you haven't done preparations during pregnancy to get your dog used to the new routines, things might be difficult for a while. My best advice for that is to stick it out. Don't make decisions on rehoming your pet during the fourth trimester, because let me tell you, even with the best intentions, pets can make that period really difficult. In addition to your professional experience, you also have personal experience bringing a baby into a home with pets. Was there anything that surprised you about your postpartum experience with your pets? Being a pet care professional, I definitely went into it with a bit of the idea that I knew a lot about dog behavior and had a great handle on everything. I had my baby at home, and one of my dogs was in the room (the other went to a boarder because he's a bit on the wild side). My girl met my daughter within minutes of birth and it was very sweet and beautiful. On my daughter's first day on Earth, we all five sat in the nursery together: my, my husband, my daughter, and my two dogs. So idyllic.  Annie, our big white gentle giant, meeting Adeline as we follow none of the proper protocol. Photo Credit: Riley Curry I was surprised, then, that it didn't take long for me to not want them around me. At all. I adore my dogs! But when I was learning to care for another person, barely sleeping, breastfeeding nonstop, I found them to be two more warm bodies who just needed something from me when I just didn't have it to give. That was really a surprise to me, I was expecting this magical world of harmony and happiness. Their barking didn't wake the baby, thankfully, but it disrupted my peaceful moments, and I would find their hair stuck to my nipples when I was trying to get babe to latch. I was so frustrated by their presence, and I was not prepared for that. I felt immense guilt, and I felt like I didn't deserve to take care of other peoples' animals if I couldn't even stand to be around my own. The fog lifted, I became more confident in caring for my daughter, and I began to cherish their presence again. Of all of the things I felt prepared for, I wish I had known that this was ok, and normal, and, especially, temporary. My husband definitely fell into being the primary animal caretaker for the first year or so, and to a certain extend remains so. The best advice I have from my personal experience is to have a plan for who is going to take care of the pets' physical and emotional needs, because mama doesn't need that pressure.  Our big, happy family. I love that you are sharing these personal experiences, Rebecca, because so much of the postpartum experience is just that - deeply personal, unexpected, challenging, and beautiful. As far as planning to have help with the pets, your business Pals for Paws is an awesome resource for those who want to meet their animals physical and emotional needs while they rest, heal, and settle into life with a new baby. Can you share a bit about the services you offer and how they may be helpful to postpartum families?
We actually take care of peoples' animals even before the baby comes home! I think it's a great idea to establish a relationship with a pet sitter so you have a plan for your pets when you go into labor. Friends and family are often very helpful in this role, but we have on many occasions received the "we're heading to the hospital" text and got the dogs on our schedule until we heard they were ready to come home - it's one of those things that can give you peace of mind and allow dad and family to focus on being in the hospital and not worry about the dogs' schedule. I mentioned earlier adjusting the dogs' expectations in advance, and if you do so, you may not need any help with your dogs. However, if it's very important to your dog to get a walk each day (and for some dogs this makes all the difference in their behavior), you don't have to cut that out. We have dog walking clients who we have continued to service all that way through pregnancy, postpartum, and going back to work, without taking a break. For these families, it allowed them to keep that routine going for their dogs and get the dogs the exercise they need. If you've never used a dog walker before, you may consider it for the postpartum period to ease that pressure of "How am I going to take the dog out?" and "the dog is just so wound up!" Doggie daycare (which we don't offer, but there are many great facilities in the area) is another great option if you're feeling overwhelmed by the presence of your pets or guilty that they're bored. Your dog gets to go and spend all day playing with friends and comes home wiped out. That being said, once you are healed, walking your dog with your baby is a wonderful way to get exercise and fresh air. Just make sure to be safe - if you have a bigger dog whose pulling and strength you could handle pre-baby, it's a good idea to invest in a harness like an EasyWalk to give you a bit more control since you'll be managing a stroller simultaneously. You can babywear and walk dogs (I do!), but I do consider it a bit on the risky side if you have a large dog or a puller so use caution and your best judgement if you feel there's a possibility that you could be pulled forward. Thank you, Rebecca, for sharing all of this fantastic advice! I know I’ll be adding it to my Pinterest board to share with anyone who has questions about bringing home a new baby to meet their beloved animals. If you are looking for petsitting or dog walking care in Iowa City, North Liberty, Coralville, and Tiffin, you can reach Pals for Paws at (319) 535-0748 or [email protected]. Witching hour or as we call it in our house, “Unhappy Hour,” is that time when parental exhaustion meets baby’s desire to list all of the wrongs of the universe at the loudest possible volume. Baby standard time dictates when this will occur. With my oldest, her wind up began around 4:30 p.m. so that by the time my spouse returned from work, I was in desperate need of a hand off and hot shower. With my middle guy, 6:00 p.m. marked the beginning of unhappy hour, meaning bedtime for the oldest was often a juggling act of bouncing an unhappy baby and corralling a overtired toddler. Whether it occurs at 4 or 8 p.m., this tricky hour (or three) requires a basket of tricks and Nested Mama’s got a basket ready for you. In this three part series, I’ll share with you my favorite resources, tips, and sanity promoting approaches to surviving unhappy hour. Last week in Part 1, I shared with you some tips and tricks for making your way through this wonky time of day. This week, I’m sharing some ideas about relaxation and affirmation that can potentially alter your experience of the witching hour.  RelaxationWhen you think about the experience of the witching hour with a tiny little one, relaxation is probably the last word that comes to mind. Maybe you are thinking, Johanna, you are absolutely nuts for even trying to put relaxation in the same sentence, even the same zip code, as this dreaded time of day. I hear you. I really do. And it makes good biological sense - we are programmed to hear our babies cry and have a corresponding response. Everything about their crying compels us to tend to them and meet their needs. If you are like me, often that tending comes with tense shoulders up to my ears, fast breathing, and a tightness in my chest when I’m in the thick of a late afternoon with a cranky baby. As you pace the floor, rock, nurse, and bounce, your way through this time of day, you can also take a moment and a breath. Right now, I want you to breathe with me. A nice big breath expanding your belly. Good. Now slowly let it out. That feels good, right? If you practice yoga, you know how important breath can be to find a sense of calm inside you. When in the thick of the witching hour, take that good deep breath. Now, let it out. Notice the tightness in your neck. Send you next exhale there. Note your shoulders. Help them drop down with your exhale. And so forth. It sounds so simple on paper, but it takes a combined focus of body and mind. And, it really does make a difference. Often when my babies were small and restless in my arms, I found that progressively relaxing my own body helped them, too. And, any space of calm and positivity you can carve for yourself into an otherwise less than wonderful time of day is a very good thing. AffirmationWhen tired at the end of a long day of parenting or facing what seems like a desert of time between wake up from nap and bedtime, my thoughts become filled with “shoulds” and with the shoulds come lots of frustration.
A good affirmation can stop those thoughts and change the direction of my mind. And, it can provide me a powerful touchstone when the day’s parenting has been more than a wee bit rough. Here are a few of my favorites -
Learning to practice relaxation and dig into some meaningful affirmations is well worth the effort. This is true for the witching hour, but it is also applicable to many moments beyond that time of day and phase of tiny baby life. Toddler throwing a tantrum with full on face-plant in the bank lobby? Breathe in and out. This is not an emergency. Trying to make dinner but life is one diaper explosion after epic nursing session after diaper explosion? Take a deep breath. This is tricky, not tragic. Feeling overwhelmed by parenting decisions x, y, and z? Breathe. I am enough. Kiddo losing it because he dropped the last jelly bean into the wasteland that is the back seat of your car? (And, if you are wondering, yes, this did just happen.) Breathe deep into your belly. I make space for my child’s feelings. Whatever parenting or other challenges life is throwing at you, breathe with me. You got this. |
AuthorJohanna received a Ph.D. in English in 2014. Now a postpartum doula and educator of childbirth, breastfeeding, and infant sleep, she blogs about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and parenting. 
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